Saturday, January 22, 2011


I often ask myself what is the “ideal” age a woman should start having children.
 I regularly discuss this subject with different type of women in attempt to obtain a concrete response. However,   there are no consistencies in the results I generally obtained because there are many factors that influences and contributes to individuals’ perspectives on life.
 An individual’s mindset in regards to children might be manipulated by many institutes such as religion, education and family. In addition, socialization can also sway people to create their own norms in regards to children.
 For instance, I often socialize myself with individuals that tend to make education and work their number one priority and children the last thing on their agenda.  Consequently, we all have similar goals in life; to attain exceptional education and becoming financially stable before considering children.
This means, no kids until the age of 30!!!
I am laughing to myself as I am writing this blog because this type of plan seems absurd to my mother and other people I have discussed this subject with. 
My lovely mother believes that this idea is illogical.
She often tells me that 21-25 is the “ideal” age a woman should start having children. I generally express amusement when we converse on this topic. 
I think to myself ...“Is this woman crazy or what??
“Having children in my early twenties? Yea right!!”
She must think that time is moving backwards but not forward. I’m only in my early twenties, I’m done school, I want to relax, have fun, make more  money, explore the world and continue my education.  Children are definitely the last thing on my mind.”
I recently had a conversation with one of my good friends in regards to this topic.  My dear friend had a child over 5 years ago and recently turned 25. You do the math!
I tried to probe some important questions during our conversation to get a better understanding on this matter.
I asked her, “What are the disadvantages and advantages as a young mother?”
 She responded, “I know there are some disadvantages having a child at a young age, such as; negative sigma and postponement of goals. But guess what?? That did not stop me from finishing university and attaining a good career. As a matter of fact, I was more motivated to work hard towards my goals because I was not living for myself anymore. I was living for my daughter."

She continued, “I will have a daughter who will be fully mature and grown when I’m in my 40s. Can you imagine me as a 41 year old woman with an 8 years old daughter? I mean, I’m not suggesting, anyone should have a child at a young age if they are not ready. Just think about your future.”
POWWW!! Now the light bulb has been switched on in my brain.
Where do I see myself in the next 20 years??  Unquestionably, not with a 10 years old child.
They say life starts at the age of 40. This is the time to enjoy life and be care free
In fact, I never thought about the logic behind this the entire time. Confession; I always had a selfish mentality when it comes to children.
I am convinced that you are asking yourself, what is prissy going to do now?
 My answer is God’s time is the best!

P.S  Please let me know your input on this matter

**Express and Reflect on your World**


Prissy Carter


  1. Aaannee oo...I agree! God's time is indeed the best! I really enjoyed reading this blog cuz I've alwayz had the same thoughts. not a topic dat i discuss often esp,not with my mama cuz she does not agree with my opinion.I've always thought 30+ is an ideal age to have children & she hates to hear me talk like dat. i dont like sharing it cuz i know deep down that my mentality when it comes to children is a selfish one.

  2. Very well written
    I my self has pondered over the idea of having kids at an early age. The truth is I want to have it all without making sacrifices and its just not realistic. I think to my self I am only 23 why have kids now when it will slow my social life style. Like your self I think selfishly on the idea of having kids at a young age because I don’t want to give up my current life style. The truth of the matter is what is life without kids, you can make all the money in the world and have all the fun but at the end of the day you have no one to share it with. This topic is definitely an eye opener for today’s society to ponder on.

    Mizz Baker

  3. I’ve always known your view about childbearing, but let me give you 4 reasons why children are so important to us as individuals and as families:


    I can give you biblical quotations to back these points if you like.

    For me, the list of benefits of having children could go on endlessly. Children have done so much to enrich many people’s lives and make them better persons. They are by far the greatest gifts God gives to us as individuals.
    Having children has forced many people to put away their irresponsible “party girl shoes” and has become more responsible persons. Their selfish ways were completely shifted towards their children the very moment they came into their lives. In almost everything they do, and every decision they make, they’re always thinking of them. They have altered their perspectives both on life in general and in their personal lives. Before they had children they drove like bats out of hell and seat belts were optional. Now they drive slower, always wear their seat belts, and are just more cautious drivers. All the money they were spending on going out and buying new clothes, now goes towards their kids' future. Almost every aspect of their lives has changed since having children.

    They have also helped them quickly learn many skills that could come in handy when they decide to go back to work. They’ve become more organized, more efficient, more creative, more giving, and more nurturing. They’ve become masters at multi-tasking and there is no crisis that they can't handle. They’ve become calmer, more confident, and wiser than they were before their kids came along. They’ve taught them to always be prepared, because you really never know what might come up.

    Children keep you young, and you take care of yourself better because you want to be there for them and for their future kids. They’ll renew your energy and your spirit. There is nothing more satisfying than seeing your child discovering the wonders of the world. Whether he's catching fireflies, searching for "crystal" rocks, or walking the dogs, everything is just an adventure to them.

    There are many benefits to having children, but for me the best thing is the love. They forgive and forget so easily and it’s amazing. There is nothing in the world like hearing your child say "I love you mum" or “I love you dad”. What’s so satisfying than seeing your kid ride right beside you and he keeps looking over at you smiling. He tells you in his sweet little voice that “you look pretty mum”. A couple of minutes later he says "Mum ... I love you" with such sweet sincerity in his voice. What do you think will happen to you? You’ll just cry my dear. It just doesn't get any better than that!
    I believe it’s high time you changed your mind about children because they’re blessings from God.

    Sarkodie Kofi

  4. Thank you guys for your comments. I really enjoying reading your own perspective on this matter..
    @ Kofi , wow you literally wrote a book.. i love it...I love all the points you raised and those are very important things you addressed .However, I hope your really understanding my point of view. I love kids and I am not saying I am not going have kids of my own someday. I believe kids are a gift from God and a major blessing to people. This means, we are a blessing from God. I do understand all the sentimental things that come along with children, however my point of view I was trying to interpret is when the right time to have children is. Especially if one has a lot of goals they want to accomplish.
    Since there are a lot of factors that may influence one's view on when to have children, the question I was trying to raise was, is it better to have children when you’re younger and older?
    I do want to hold my own kids in my arms someday and be proud of what I was able to make but the question is ,when is the right time to do so if one is not ready yet.